Transient Towpath Trudging - Pt.133 (Canal Zander)

Well, this lingering cold is proving harder to shake than a bailiff at a dodgy car boot sale. The sore throat, thanks to a chesty cough that sounds like I’ve been chain-smoking kippers, and a streaming nose that could rival Niagara Falls, has put a firm kibosh on anything remotely enjoyable. 

I’m rarely ill, so when I do catch something, I like to really make a meal of it you know, go full Shakespearean tragedy. Fishing? Not exactly top of the agenda when you're coughing up what looks like frogspawn every half hour. All I want is to feel vaguely human again so I can get back on the bank and remind the fish who's boss (spoiler: it’s not always me). I've still manage to maintain my 10k steps a day which is good having some walks out in the village, but I have needed the odd pick me up !!

Out with the Comfort Food !!

Now Long ago, in the heart of Middlesbrough, someone looked at a chicken breast, a vat of béchamel sauce, and a questionable amount of cheese, and thought, “Yes. This is what the people need.” Thus, the chicken parmo was born not in an Italian trattoria, but in a Northern English kitchen that believed in deep-frying first and asking questions never.

The parmo is Middlesbrough’s answer to comfort food. It’s not delicate. It’s not subtle. It arrives on your plate with all the grace of a bulldozer made of cheese, and honestly, that’s what makes it beautiful. Breaded chicken, fried to golden perfection, blanketed in creamy béchamel, and finished with a melted cheese crust thick enough to stop traffic what’s not to love?

Well it's a little bland if I'm honest 🤯

Anyway some foods whisper sweet nothings to your taste buds. The parmo kicks open the door in a dressing gown, hands you a pint, and says, “Come here, mate. You’ve had a rough day.” It doesn’t judge you for eating it at 2 a.m. in your kitchen while Googling your symptoms. It just wants you to feel okay.

To outsiders, it may look like a calorie-laden crime scene. But to the people of Teesside, it’s tradition. It’s therapy. It’s Friday night. The parmo isn’t just a dish it’s a greasy, glorious friend who always knows what you need, and honestly 'slightly' better for you than a dirty doner kebab I suppose.  

Now the countdown to the start of the river season is ticking nicely, and with my Voluntary Redundancy signed, sealed, and delivered (like a break-up letter with a big cheque), and a termination date finally confirmed, I’m now starting to hatch some plans. 

We’ve got a few holidays lined up to soften the landing Cornwall, North Devon, and Lanzarote for a bit of sea fishing and sunburn in equal measure. I've already got a few leads for some salty action not that kind, behave but it’s the return to the rivers in June that really has my heart doing little excited flutters. Or that might just be the lingering fever. Hard to say.

On the tackle front, I’ve been channeling my inner inventor and knocked up a couple of meat punches using the 3D printer. These lozenge-shaped beauties are designed to scale down my barbel approach, secured nicely with a quickstop. 

A couple of pieces can look just enough "off-piste" to draw attention without making the fish recoil in horror like it’s seen a ghost (or a Lidl bait). Some of the other chaps in the WBAS syndicate have used this scaled-down method with some success, and let’s be honest a bonus roach is always welcome, especially when those barbel and chub are not playing ball.

I actually used my first 3D printer way back in 1998 at the Gaydon design studio we’re talking the Stone Age of additive manufacturing ( a wax layered jobbie), where you'd send off an STL file and cross your fingers it didn’t come back looking like a melted jelly baby.

Fast forward a couple of decades and you can now buy a half-decent, auto-calibrating printer for a bag of sand. It's mad how far the tech’s come makes you wonder how we ever managed without one. Though I’m still waiting for someone to invent a printer that churns out usable excuses for blanking...

Feeling slightly more human, I thought I'd sneak out for a dabble with the canal Zander. No monsters of late just a few curious nudges and one suspicious-looking stick that fought surprisingly well for an inanimate object. 

Truth be told, I haven’t been targeting the Zeds with any real conviction. My heart’s just not in it during the closed season. You can tell the spark’s missing even the blogging brigade have gone a bit quiet. But worry not, dear readers June’s whispering sweet nothings to us from the horizon. Running water is near, and with it, that familiar hope that the next cast is the one.

Not as an early start as I had planned but I was by some cover on the towpath for around 7.00am where the sun was already illuminating the canal, so not exactly ideal conditions to fish for canal Zander. But having fished for them for many a year now, you just need to find the fish really and that's where leapfrogging sections of cover seems to work.

A good hour in though only one tentative pull on a very still canal I decided to try up by some boats to see if they were laying up there.

Nothing doing whatsoever there so I returned to the cover where I had an enquiry where within 5 minutes fishing a roach tight to cover the left hand float jumps in to life and is motoring down the canal. I tightened up to the circle hook where I pulled the bait out of its mouth, bugger. In my experience they are smaller fish where the bait is too big to take it properly.

I got the bait back out and then 5 minutes later the right hand float goes off with the same vigour but this time I've hooked up nicely and I'm playing a decent Zander.

A lovely fish (6lb ish) as well and still full of spawn however spawning is imminent I'd imagine with the daytime temperatures trying to mimic Spain. That section of cover went quiet so I decided to upsticks and try a completely different area of canal where the fish go really dark for some reason. I think it is because it's a clearer section of canal, anyway on-route I decided to fish the start of the length of cover where I managed another 2 Zander within about 10 minutes of the baits being out.

Such stunning fish that frequent these midland canals we are lucky to have them I say. Anyway that cover also went quite so I decided to stick to my original plan and go to a section of canal a 5 minutes drive away.

Past the pungent wild garlic this lock mouth often gives up some nice fish, it's a bit deeper here you see and obviously well oxygenated. By this time the sun was right in my face and illuminating the canal  more than I'd liked. So unsurprisingly a good half an hour out with two deadbaits not even a bobble of either one of the floats.

I could have fished for another hour or so but I decided to knock it on the head and be thankful I finished on three nice Zander and got some vitamin D in the process. On to the next one !!!