Transient Towpath Trudging - Pt.95 (Canal Zander)

I've been looking through the Guinness Book of Records to see I whether I'm in it yet. (The Writing Rubbish for 14 Years and Getting Away With It Record.) Not a mention. Obviously a typographical error or a total lack of taste and no susceptibility to bribery on the part of the editors.

They've got some funny records in that book. Piano smashing, standing on one leg, being buried alive, walking backwards, walking on hands, welly throwing and long-distance spitting.

But it has its omissions, apart from the lack of reference to one of Britain's most talented, distinguished and handsome anglers. The angling section is a bit sparse. Just a straight catalogue of largest and smallest fish caught, record weight lists, casting records and that's yer lot. Nothing to laff at at all.

I am now about to rectify this. There's more to fishing than catching fish, as we failures say, and some of the most interesting records come from the spin-off activities of angling.

Here you are, then, Guinness. They're all yours. No fee. Just send me a season ticket for the brewery.

The Falling in the Water Record. Held by Fred Pighead, of Eccles, who fell into the water 67 times in two hours while attempting to fish from the end of a jetty on a Bridgewater Canal coaling basin. The jetty had been shortened by six feet a couple of days before, but Fred - who had been fishing from it for 30 years - refused to believe it.

The Sitting There Without Catching Anything Record. Twenty -nine years and three months, every weekend and most evenings, by Jim Stupid of Warrington, fishing the sulphuric acid outfall of a local chemical factory. Jim also holds the record for losing most hooks - 2,400,543 - and the most nylon traces - 16 miles, 650 yards and 9 inches of them - because they tended to dissolve as soon as they hit the surface. Jim's bid for the 30-year record was foiled by an attack of double pneumonia after a heavy rainstorm, but as a consolation he was awarded The Daftest Man in the Cemetery Record.

The Number of Polygamous Marriages Record. Held by Gary Glutton of Ardwick, with 10 wives, one in each water authority of England and Wales. 'Helps with my match fishing', says Gary. 'I don't have to worry about making my own sandwiches up. I only hope they don't find out about the Scottish Lot.'

The Most Number of Zander Caught On The Midlands Canals....

....No idea that one to be honest but I must me heading to a >1000 I'd imagine (might be more, might be less), maybe I should look back on my blog for a look. Then again that would take and Aggggeeeeeee that would. It's a good time to be catching Zander on the canals as the moment because they haven't spawned yet from what I can see. So I was back for some more in the area that I caught those two 6lbers last time that Buffalo Si put me on to.

Could it be any worse than waking up as William Wragg, the MP for Hazel Grove in Manchester, who  admitted giving other MPs' phone numbers over WhatsApp, to someone he met on a dating app that had 'photos' that Wragg had sent to an imposter. Well yeah you could be a Zander waking up after being caught my the angling tag team Si and Mick, their lives will never be the same again, with their sanctuary exposed. 

They have always been there to be honest and despite the efforts of the anode wavers of the CRT's well paid and do what you want jobbers, they are still hanging around in these turbid waters. 

Oddly I'd never caught anything big from the stretch hence why it had fallen off my radar, but it just goes to show doesn't it. One year is never the same than the next. Then again 24 is often never the same on the canal these days, it can be that moody. 

And to be honest I was correct with that assumption....

You see some of the smallest Zander caught of late and no big ones to be found whatsoever. I can only assume those fish have upsticks and gone somewhere else for now. Still quite a few steps covered and at least I was getting bites. 

All very confusing but then, there was confusion in the air for this session 😆🐄🐄🐄🐄...

...there is so much water to go at on the canals and fish that don't hang around for long, those 6 lbers I caught and the other fish in the pack could be a mile away by now. 

Transient Towpath Trudging - Pt.94 (Canal Zander A Brace Of 6's )

Now I'm not quite sure how this film passed me by, but with the Wife and kids away for a couple of days I needed something to keep me in good spirits and this is where 'The World's End' came to the rescue, oh and a serotonin boosting concocted curry from scratch, with a garlic naan and garlic rice to go with it !!

It's a 2013 apocalyptic science fiction comedy film directed by Edgar Wright from a screenplay by Wright and Simon Pegg, and this was the third and final instalment in the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy, after Shaun of the Dead (2004) and Hot Fuzz (2007). Jesus, that long ago 👀

Some recognisable actors too, such as Simon Pegg (obviously), Nick Frost, Paddy Considine, Martin Freeman, Eddie Marsan, Rosamund Pike and Pierce Brosnan. 

The film focuses on five friends who return to their hometown in order to reattempt a pub crawl they failed twenty-three years earlier, only to discover an alien invasion is afoot in the town.

Worth a watch anyway if you've not seen it. Brain out entertainment (quite literally) and it was washed down with the nice nice spicy curry and the surround sound elevated to curtain twitching levels. The Wife cannot do so much spice as much as me, so I usually cook a curry to suit my palate when she is away. 

Anyway the curry, a special one this, well back when the Royal Bengal in Coventry used to be good (many years ago post clubbing and pub going) they used to do garlic chilli chicken dish that year on year was exactly the same whenever you ordered it. Strips of tandoori chicken in a tangy and pungent chilli sauce with copious amounts of green chilli and loads and I mean loads or fresh garlic.

Sadly the place is a shadow of its former self probably a victim of their own success and there are now far better curry houses to spend your hard earned money. It used to be rammed all the time but then the cost of living doesn't help, I think many curry houses are struggling these days, so if you're mediocre anyway diners vote with their feet. Maybe their chefs went elsewhere ? who knows. But since the refurb things definitely changed. 

I used to love that dish and from time to time usually when I'm cooking just for myself I recreate it the best I can. To be honest this most recent effort could definitely be improved upon because despite using a whole large garlic bulb it would do with some more. 😀

I added quite a bit to the fried basmati rice though with some onion and that was very tasty indeed but one thing I always remembered about the Royal Bengal dish was the amount of garlic it contained, serious amounts, enough to keep vampires away and those ladies of the night that roamed the streets of Earlsdon back in the day.  

Soooo easy to make though and can be knocked up in no time. No 'Just Eat' to be seen here, then again where I live those choices are non existent, probably not a bad thing I suppose.

Anyway enough waffle, good old Buffalo Si from River Masters said "get yourself down here" because he was catching a load of Zander at a section of canal local to me. He was heading towards double figures and wanted me to get in on the action too.

It didn't take me long to catch the first one either where after a bite where the fish dropped off, I flung the bait back out again and within seconds it was going again. This time the float buried right under the surface where I tightened up to a solid fish.

It was giving a good account for itself as well but thankfully with a boat on the way I managed to get in in the net. A solid fish too and one of my biggest from the canal for a while going exactly 6lbs on the scales. 

The cover is pretty sparse here but after moving to a swim where I've caught the most zander from in a single session ( 7 I think) what I didn't expect was something similar to happen. You see after missing another bite the roach went back out again where after a couple of minutes the float went under the water in almost an instant. None of this messing around nonsense that Zander often do.

Anyway I tightened up in to another solid fish that went it felt the hook shot off to my right where it made one heck of a distance on the surface, wow another decent fish.

A proper battle this and after landing it I could see why, a proper angry Zander with a huge paddle for a tail. This a slightly longer fish and proper solid and went 6lb and 12 ounces on the scales. A cracking fish from the canal and not even from the 'hallowed' either but my neck of the woods.

We continued fishing where I was bitless and Si was still catching. I could have stayed longer but I decided I had my quota and vowed to come back another day where I'd spend a bit more time fishing the section.

I won't forget that session for a while and thanks to Si for letting us know that he was bagging up. Us because Nic from Avon Angling wasn't a million miles away and he was also catching Zander. I assume they are starting to group up for spawning hence the numbers.

The water needs to warm up for that, but it won't be a long way off I wouldn't have thought. The wind was pretty chilly and it also made the fishing a little difficult as it rippled up the surface, but they were certainly on it today that's for sure. 

Transient Towpath Trudging - Pt.93 (Canal Bream)

As we munch down a nice roast pork dinner April is a funny month isn't it !!!, like oh FFS, better make the gravy I forgot about that. 

The fly fisherman is happy enough as the season settles into some kind of pattern for him, and his trusty wrist action is getting the fly where he wants it. More or less.

The fly hatches may be still not too predictable or plentiful, but they're happening. And if he's really not having the luck, he can always try for a few tame trout at the newly-stocked waters just to keep his hand in.

For the coarse fisherman, it's unsettling. He's either doing nothing at all, or fishing an area with no close season, or trying some sea fishing. 

But there's a sense of not belonging, of dispersion, a scattering of the old gang, a loss of the old comradeship, and a feeling of unfamiliarity about the new venues.

April 1, of course, is time for the traditional April Fool jokes, which are probably helped along by the general feeling of boredom or restlessness. There's one angling April Fool joke which is reported as gospel every year; it's obviously an apocryphal story, but it must have happened at some time.

It's about two sea anglers. One loses his false teeth, along with his breakfast, over the side of the boat.

His mate, for a lark, ties his own false teeth to the line and pretends to catch them.

'Hey!' he shouts to his mate. 'I've hooked your teeth.'

'Great!' says his mate. 'Give 'em here!' He tries the teeth and finds they don't fit.

'These aren't my teeth,' he says. And chucks them over the side.

Leaving his mate speechless. And toothless.

To be serious. April is as good a time as any to start a wormarium, if you haven't already got one. (You can call it a wormery if you like, but wormarium sounds much more scientific: impresses the neighbours if not the wife.)

Dig over a small patch of unwanted or unproductive garden, and on it place a bottomless wooden box. Water the area inside the box well, and dig in plenty of damp, shredded paper. Throw on your old tea leaves, coffee grounds, sour milk and vegetable peelings. Almost anything organic will help: leaf-mould, straw, grass cuttings, dead pussycats, redundant mothers-in-law.

Every couple of inches, cover with a thin layer of soil: as well as helping the texture, it helps to neutralise any incipient pong. Now keep the wormarium moist and cover it with a sack. All you have to do then is keep adding the waste. By the time the coarse season starts, you'll have more worms than you can use. 

They won't be all that tough, mind you: living has been too easy. So they'll need scouring through moss for a few days before you use them. (Don't forget to turn the container upside- down every twenty-four hours.) Incidentally, if you haven't got a garden or can't spare the ground, you can try the same thing in an old stone sink, or in a tub or box with holes in the bottom.

Anyway a short and sweet session this because the boat traffic was a nuisance because I managed a small zander before hooking this slab fishing bread tight to the far bank cover. It's not very deep there but often holds fish bigger than you think. This one going 4lb and 3 ounces on he scales so a nice one for the cut.

I've caught bigger on the canal but this one was pulling back like a hybrid. A decent fight on relatively light tackle, well for for me anyway. Apart from the small zed and the bream nothing else doing sadly and I fished a few swims, but when the water turns chocolate and flows like a river it was time to call it a day.