Sunday 31 December 2017

Canal Zander – Bights and Buddha-Bellies

Picture the scene, pre kids, money to burn, post big meal, fancy marina abroad full of luxury cruisers and yachts , elevated outdoor bar with comfy sofa’s, Wife next to me sipping a cocktail, I’ve a big Hennessey XO, enjoying the remaining vitamin D, watching the world go by....

Big fat Cuban in hand trying to look cool, eye-candy aplenty, most dressed to impress….

“Mick, Mick, MICK !!!!”

“What’s up”

“Errrr you might want to button your shirt up, I can see your Buddha-Belly”


“You What !!!”

“Your shirt buttons are undone !!!!

Looks down, she’s right, unbeknown to me the fitted shirt has finally succumbed to the overindulgence by exponentially expanding ones waistline to a point of no return, the button holes have done a runner.

My hairy belly and naval lint out there for all to see, the Wife in hysterics.

No wonder I’d be getting funny looks,heck so what, I’m no like I’d see these people again, one needs room to expand, to feel comfortable.


I was here to chill out God damn it, if I cannot do it here, where can I do….?

Holds empty glass up, “another one please”

I’d been waiting for this newly created waterway to open up, you see it was another big sofa for the Zander to be comfortable in, for the big’uns to put their feet up. You see, imagine a tiny two up two with barely enough room to swing a cat then overnight finding oneself sat in the drawing room in Windsor Castle, smoking jacket donned, all the space you would ever need.

The view large enough to intercept the butler on the way past for another nibble off his tray.


It’s where my PB Zander came from, well a similar abode, and that was a rotund 9’lber and a little like me at the minute, with it's winter belly proudly on show.

So for this session it was out with the roach deadbaits, the food of choice for a Zander wanting to expand his winter waistline to see if there was method in my madness and Sam would be manning the lure rod.

I've caught Zander in the area before so on the way back we'd fish another holding area to avoid a blank. The footpath was ridiculously muddy and in hindsight should have donned our wellies but eventually we got the potential hotspot.


So 2 deadbait rods out and Sam doing his best to tempt one on the lure, as well as trying out his new seat which which came with his 'BIG tackle box" and "Rucksack" we gave it a good go. Not a jot for a couple and a half it was time to try and at least catch something, so back from where we came it was back out with the deadbaits and this time swapped to a crayfish lure.

With ten minutes or so the left had float rod goes from right to left against the surface tow which was the left to right, sadly leant in to the bite without any resistance.

2 more similar bites without hook-ups this was getting like the old days where I was doubting my rig and hooks. So I cut the whole small Roach in half and not long after another bite.


This time it was more confident and it actually went under such was the speed of the bite which in my experience can only mean one thing.

Yeah a tiny schoolie....time to call an end to the session.

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