Thursday, 28 April 2016

Closed Season Zander Quest Pt.34 – Game of Thrones

So I was in a predicament….

The parasite taken hold big time, the gastroenteritis, kidney punching the infected intestine.

Painful stomach cramps, I’m bent double, sweating like a Barbel, having just seen an Otter.

A canal towpath, the great unwashed, dog walkers, MAMIL’s and Gongoozler’s….

I need to find a toilet quick, I’m desperate to go, but where

The waterway office is closed as is the Cafe…

There doesn’t appear to be anywhere I can get unnoticed, heck a borrowed dog poop bag may have to do.

Bugger it, “excuse me Mr ‘Serendipity’ narrowboat Skipper, “Can I please use your toilet, I’m desperate”

“Of course” “Be my guest”

Zander rods and tackle thrown down,I’ve made my way on to the boat, the toilet at the stern. I clamber through.

The throne has never looked so welcoming, the flock of starlings are now in full flight, the stench overwhelming.

He’s hit by a malodorous wall, the trillions of microorganisms punching the air.

“You ok in there”

“Great now thanks” Exits the boat, mission accomplished, the boat now unsellable.

I woke up laughing….

Luckily all a dream, Paxton and Whitfield finest Stilton as usual giving me another dream to remember.

So on to the session, which was a few hours after work at the Tefal head leapfrogging a section of thick far bank cover. The weather has been very unsettled of late with hard frosts most mornings and the day time temperatures struggling to get in to double figures so I knew it would be tough going.

And it was…its official the fish are off the feed.

There is Zander in numbers here but after 2 hours and biteless the hail started to come down quite thick I was all ready to pack up and go home. As soon as the sun started to go down it was bleeding freezing and watching motionless floats isn’t exactly enjoyable.

I’d packed down one rod when the left hand float had some interest, the vibrations shown quite clearly with ripples in the water. The float began to move and that’s when I tightened in to the fish. A fish was on but I quickly realised it wasn’t exactly going to trouble my set-up.

A small schoolie, the average stamp of Zander I usually catch. I unhooked it without issue and just handling the fish my hands were like ice blocks, I dread to think what the water temperature was. It was f’ing freezing.

I didn’t even bother re-baiting and getting the rods out again, it was back home for a warm brandy.

I’m sure this weekend will be just as difficult.


  1. Hahaha aa!!!
    'Had me heartily laughing out loud. Nice one Mick!

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