Friday 1 April 2016

Closed Season Zander Quest Pt.26 – The Ultracrepidarian Poop Picker

Twas mid afternoon, I’m tackle abound and the ultracrepidarian poop picker is seemingly acting like a gate keeper when I approached the bridge over the canals recent hallowed waters.


The poo filled black bag was held aloft and was swinging from his hand like some sort of trophy.

Walking poles, really! My face has bigger contours.

His Boxer puppy didn’t look too impressed either, I’m not sure if was because it was because the bulging bag was shaped like a pair of dogs bollocks and his were about to go walkabout, or the fact his owner was trying to engage me in conversation about fishing.


“you’ll never catch anything decent outta there fella”

“canals, they’re all buggered”

“I stopped fishing them 20 years ago, got fed up of them, nothing like what they used to be”

"Fill a keep-net no problem"

“I only fish commercials now, I often have hundred weight in these conditions, F1’s you see, they are inbred's or something like that”

“I’m retired now so I can fish when I like....a.n.y.w.a...”

Ok,thanks for the letting me know, but I’ll give it a bash. got to go, you never know I might be lucky. !!!!


I should have taken his advice...

5 swims, far bank cover, lock mouth, reed bed, lock mouth and cover again not even a touch.

The boats didn't help to be honest, a precession of them every 10 or 15 minutes or so which meant the baits didn't really have time to settle. The fairly static canal turns in to a torrent very quickly, even the 6 gram drilled bullet was enough to keep the bait anchored.

Zander can be funny feeders at times, get it wrong and you'll go biteless for the session.

There are Zander here I know that but they were having none of it today.

So another blank on the quest for a cut double, on to the next session then.

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