The Tiny River Alne - Otters, Cormorant and Herons'

A Christmas day of excesses on the food and drink front it was nice to river the banks of the handy river Alne especially when it was misty out there and not that cold.

The problem for me was that being biteless in the first swim opposite the house usually means a tough session on the river. Then things got worse, you see after entering the the 2nd field I disturbed some cormorants in their roost and also some rather large herons.

  Hmmm....

...and it got worse too because in the third swim I fished I noticed out the corner of my eye a disturbance in the water downstream which I thought might have been a duck, however around 10 seconds later an otter popped its head out of the water, saw me and then proceeded to swim underwater right through my swim, with bubbled galore.

For the next 4 hours I must have disturbed another 5 feeding cormorants, where two popped out the same swim at the same time just yards from me and flew off in disgust. 

For such a small river, the amount of piscine predators really was quite staggering and after 8 or 9 biteless swims demoralising for me as an angler too, because I fear for the fish that live in here mainly because it sees little foot traffic and they are going to be largely left undisturbed to do what the hell they want to do.

I even ventured to the swims at the middle of the stretch to try and get at least one fish to bite but there was nothing doing whatsoever. A boxing day kick in the balls, not good at all 😬

The Tiny River Alne - Chickens and Chiliahedrons

I've been fishing this little stretch of the Alne for a good while now and it's always been an intriguing little water mainly because you cannot really tell beforehand how it will fish.

The river had been over its banks again however it drops nicely this little river and being the closed bit of running water to me that I fish it's nice and convenient. 

Even in milk chocolate coloured conditions it can fish ok, finding the fish which is half of the problem.

 The swim opposite the house is deep and even when the river is banging through some sanctuary can be found here away from the main flow and this swim is often the benchmark on what the rest of the river will fish like.

If you're biteless in this swim you might as well go home and go back to bed to annoy the Wife because the outcome of the session is dictated to you right there and then.

It was a chilly morning and I had frost on my windscreen so I thought I would be tough even more so when literally settling in to the swim a cormorant surfaced over at the other side of the river and flew off in disgust of me being there. 

I mean come on ? what the heck are they doing here it's not exactly rich picking now is it. 

They are much better at hunting out fish than what I am however especially when literally 5 seconds after the cormorant surfaced I missed an unmissable bite on bread where the 1oz tipped pulled all the way round to where it enters the blank.

I missed a further three bites (yes really) before eventually I was hooked in to a solid fish. I've scaled down of later because I want to try and better my dace PB of 12 ounces that came off this stretch. A lighter fluorocarbon hooklink and a small size 12 Guru feeder special hook and I'm sure that didn't help the situation. 

The chub and soon after a chublet succumbed to the thumbnail piece sized bread, you would think being that coloured it would be a worm day too. It just goes to show how reliable bread is in most conditions.

Once the bites dried up I went on the rove where the wind was very cold indeed, infact as the morning when by the wind got stronger and stronger. Anyway another two cormorants scared off and then one that went to land in its roost (first pic) saw me and then did a quick about turn !!!

Oh so that's where they are holding up !!!

The next swim I had a bite that literally nearly took the rod in when it caught me off guard where I struck in to nothing 🤣and then 5 mins later after getting the bread back out, another nice Alne Chub.

I fished another few swims but nothing doing and when the wind was making any registering of bites almost impossible I decided to knock it on the head. Still a lovely morning and it's the fact that I have the stretch to myself keeps me coming back.

It really is a nice place to be, ok the fish are not anything to write home about, but so what it's not all about specimen fish now is it. Ok it's nice when the appear from time like the dace but it is the solitude that is the Winner Winner Chicken Dinner. 

Warwickshire Stour - Coaches and Coadjuments

The old match angler was past his best and he had been kept in the team more out of sympathy than anything else. But after an end-of-season losing run of six matches, a new and ruthless team captain was appointed.

The first thing the new captain did was to call in the old boy.

'I assume you want to know if I can fish for the team next season,' beamed the veteran.

'Not on your life,' said the captain. 'I've never seen an angler like you. Your tackle's thirty years out of date. You can't see a float beyond five yards. You can't even see to the swingtip on the end of your rod, come to that. You can't bait up with a maggot without sticking the hook in your finger. 

You can't cast without hooking somebody behind you. You're so slow on the strike that the fish has time to call in a second opinion. You can't play a fish bigger than a stickleback without losing it. You make such a splash with your landing net that every fish within a hundred yards disappears. 

You're so hopeless that I wouldn't even trust you to sell pop- corn on the bank. I never want to see your stupid face at my matches again! Now get out!'

'Ah,' said the old boy. 'Am I to take it, then, that you'd like time to think it over?"....

....

I must admit my bites to netting fish ratio hasn't certainly taken a bit of hit recently and todays short session on the Stour was another one of those session where my own lacklustre approach, probably led to less fish on the bank.

I fished a small cage feeder with liquidised bread and a small thumbnail piece of bread on the size 12 hook. I was hoping the Stour was going to be much more coloured as I fancied a go for a decent roach, but no it was the usual Stour chip shop mushy pea colour. 

A chub first cast I think I peaked too soon, because after that I managed a couple of small roach and one of those was foul hooked. The fish just didn't seem to be interested. Still the chub was a nice one so I wasn't complaining. 

Small Brook Fishing Pt.25 - Milk Bottle Tops and Microminiaturization

Its been a while since I've visited the little stream to do some fishing but with the local rivers banging through again I was hoping there would be some rebite here. I've caught all manner of fish from this diminutive waterway and it was the dace in particular that really surprised me because there are some really nice chunky ones to be had.

Tis the season to be jolly mind you and like the dace from this dirty stream there is also no hiding from my winter belly, lots of socialising of late and plenty still to come . To be honest it's the same as this year on year where the 1st of January brings abstinence and clean living to one's life order, where the willpower is certainly tested. 

.....Mussssssssssttttttttttttttttt Resist !!!!

Anyway a bizarre dream the other day post some lovely French Bleu d'Auvergne, a very lucid one this.... anyway an enterprising tackle dealer with a shop near the local lunatic asylum chatted up the psychiatrist in charge one day. 

'Look,' he said. 'Why don't you encourage your patients to take up fishing? It's very soothing, very therapeutic. Make the world of difference to their well being. You've got a big lake in the grounds, anyway, and I'll be happy to sell them all the tackle they want."

'Good idea,' said the psychiatrist. 'Just one thing, though. We can't trust the poor lads with money. They don't know the value of it. So if they offer to pay in milk tops, just accept them and I'll settle up with you at the end of the month.'

'You're on,' said the tackle dealer.

Every weekday for a month the shop was packed with patients from the asylum. They bought so much tackle and bait that the dealer was constantly phoning the wholesalers to order fresh supplies.

At the end of the month, in came the psychiatrist. 'How did you get on with my lads?' he asked.

'Marvellous,' said the dealer. 'No trouble at all. They bought no end of stuff and paid for it all, just as you said, in milk bottle tops.'

'Great,' said the psychiatrist. 'Well, I'd better settle up with you now. What's the damage?'

'Five thousand seven hundred and forty three pounds 11ap, including VAT,' said the dealer.

'Seems reasonable to me,' said the psychiatrist. "Can you give me change for this manhole cover?'

Anyway to the fishing, well I had a pint of maggots and a float rod and that was it. The stream was well up however despite that, there are small areas of the stream that I could fish. From small slacks to back eddies. It didn't take long to catch the first fish either, literally the first chuck of the float it shot straight under a fish was on.

The first fish was a brook brownie and a rather skinny looking fish and a fish that looked a bit sorry for itself. The next fish, well that turned out to be a decent roach, however stupidly and very cavalier of me I decided to swing it in because I hadn't extended the landing net handle. 

Well you can guess what happened, yeap it and the hook parted and gave me the two fins as it dropped back into the drink. 

....Oh FFS !!!

Lesson learnt and all that I got about fishing again...

Plenty of bites from roach, dace and also a hybrid ? but once the bites dried up and a I tried another couple of swims, I decided to knock it on the head when the rain started in anger.

So around an hour and a bits fishing, was actually pretty prolific really considering the colour of the water. Nothing big mind you apart from that roach that dropped off but all in all I satisfying box ticking exercise where I needed to get out drowning maggots because this seasonal affective disorder has kicked in bit time and I need to seize every opportunity I can.

I will hopefully get out the weekend though and next week it's Xmas but I will be working till the death sadly because I've burned up all my holidays up this year. I'm just hoping the river will be in better fettle than they have been recently. 

The River Arrow - Martians and Margaritomancy

The Martian reported back to his leader after a fact- finding mission on Earth.

"The Earthlings have a very strange custom, O Six- Headed One,' he said. "They call it fishing.

'Lots of them work very hard so that they can buy strange wands and sharp hooks. They also buy great quantities of the foods they call bread, cheese, sausages, and also the larvae of a blue flying insect.

"Then they go down to the waterside and, in a mass ritual, throw much of this food upon the water. Some of it, also, they stick on the sharp hooks which are attached by lines to the wands.

'In this manner they capture quantities of water-dwelling creatures called fish, which according to my information are nourishing as food."

'Interesting,' said the leader. 'And what do they do with these fish creatures?'

'When the ceremony is over,' said the Martian, 'they throw them all alive back into the water again." The 18 eyes in the Leader's six heads narrowed to slits and he quivered with rage.

'They told me!' he screamed. 'They told me before you set off for Earth and I should have listened. 

Next time I'll send somebody sober!'

Anyway to the fishing a short trip to the convenient Arrow to try and winkle out a chub went to plan for once. You see after being biteless in the weir I moved up to the next swim where the recent storm was showing its power. That didn't deter the chub though because...

...the bread had only been out for 5 minutes or so when after a couple of tentative pulls on the 1oz tip the rod went into meltdown an a hard fighting chub was on and it taking me all round the swim with me playing it on the drag.

A lovely fish indeed though, short and fat and went 4lb and 6 ounces on the scales. A good start indeed but as the session went on those bites dried up however I did manage another couple of chub and also lost a decent one and also missed a couple of unmissable bites. 

I seem to be getting the odd hook pull of late which rarely happened until recently which has got me questioning my set-up.

 It was mild at around 9 degrees and rather nice when the sun came out but the sun sadly put a kibosh on proceedings. The chub just didn't seem to be interested, even the small fish for that matter because even those didn't seem to be up for nibbling at the bread either, well apart from the odd swim.

Bread the king again though and big pieces too, it does seem to be my default chub bait these days and despite having cheesepaste with me, it was bread that did the business once again. 

Again the banks to myself again, where the heck are the other anglers ? 

Warwickshire Avon - Nickers and Nigroglobulate

The run-up to Christmas is a good time for free additives to the groundbait. All the stuff left over from office parties and works Outings. Sausages on sticks, vol-au-vents, crackers, cheese and what have you. No shame in sticking it in a doggy bag and taking it home.

I've even tried in pubs, at the end of a lunchtime session, asking if I could relieve them of the curling butties in the glass case. No luck there, though. The usual reply from a publican advertising fresh-cut sandwiches is: 'Get lost. Them's for tonight.'

At any function it's always best to make sure stuff is left over before you appropriate it. 

Many an angler's wedding has been ruined because his mates were discovered nicking great chunks of cake at the reception. (Currants, raisins, spices, marzipan and icing-sugar, apart from anything else. What fish could resist that lot?)

Opposition to the purloining seems to come mainly from the bride's mother. The bride's father is either very understanding, especially if he's an angler himself, or too far gone to care.

Whichever way you look at it, though, nicking wedding- cake is highly reprehensible and unworthy of the angling fraternity. It's usually the first-timers who are caught, because they sit there wrapping it in paper napkins and shoving it into their pockets. The more experienced nickers stick it swiftly behind a curtain and collect it later. So I'm told.

Maddocks and Baker recommend Paxo stuffings among the list of savoury additives for carp groundbait. That's OK, but as Christmas draws nearer it's best to check with the wife first. If she's hunting frantically around on Christmas morning, with the bread rubbed and the onions boiled, and not a packet of Paxo in sight, you may not be the most popular man in the world.

Glad I mentioned the bread. A couple of Christmases ago, I found two loaves going stale on top of the bread bin. Magic. Big bucket of groundbait in no time. But my reception when I got home that night was a bit on the frosty side. The loaves had been left to go stale to make the stuffing.

Best to check anyway before you use anything from the kitchen. I did a roundup of the goodies once. Sweetcorn, bread, sausages, tin of luncheon meat, couple of black puddings and some other odds and ends.

When I got home I gave the traditional greeting: 'Where's me tea?'

'I wouldn't swear to it,' said the Wife. 'But I think you've spent all day chucking it in the canal.'

Ho ho. Very droll...

Anyway with the Avon dropping nicely and the colour more suited to fishing I thought I'd go and have a dabble on one of my favorite stretches to try and winkle out a chub or two.

The fish had other ideas though because disappointedly only one swim produced any bites and sadly the biggest of the chub from that swim the hooked pulled when I had to bully the fish close in. It wasn't the traditional chub hideout either because it was boiling and swirling, still I managed a few smaller fish so I went away happy.

Another few days it will be cock on I reckon where hopefully next weekend I'll give some trotting ago on the syndicate stretch, something I've been meaning to do for a while. Oh and some pike  / zander fishing hopefully.

Talking of pike fishing, I'm sure Buffalo Si with catch a pike on his Buffalo Fly 😁, if you've not subscribed to his River Masters channel, make sure you do, it's a cracker !! A nice change from the usual fishing videos with his own unique style.

Btw, Si, don't forget I've still got your cap in the back of my car !!

The Tiny River Alne - Solitude and Solemnsides

The angler was fishing a lake deep in the heart of a safari park when a hippo emerged from the water, smashed his rods and trampled all over his gear.

The angler left his tackle and staggered back to his car, to find a troop of monkeys pulling off his windscreen wipers. 

He chased them away, got in the car, and had just moved off when a kangaroo leapt out of the undergrowth and crashed into the aerial, bending it very badly. 

By this time he was in a foul temper, so when elephant crossed the track in front of him, he screeched up to it, slammed on his brakes and hooted loudly. The elephant looked around calmly, kicked in the rear wing, then sat on the bonnet and caved it in.

The angler roared off to the park warden's hut and hammered on the door.

'Look at the mess your animals have made of my car!' he yelled when the warden answered the door. 'I demand compensation!'

'Oh, my dear sir,' said the warden. 'Do come in. How can I apologise? Here, drink this scotch for your nerves.' Down went the scotch in one and the warden poured out another tumblerful.

The angler was calming down by now, and he and the warden had quite a long chat about the hazards of the park. Every five minutes the warden filled up the tumbler, and before long the whole bottle of whisky had disappeared.

The angler was halfway home, his car weaving all over the road, when he was pulled up by a police patrol car. 'Been in the wars by the looks of things, sir,' said the officer. 'Like to tell me how it happened?'

"Yish,' said the angler. 'Windscreen wipers... bunch of monkeys pinched 'em. Aerial... flaming kangaroo bent it. Damn great elephrump kicked the side in then sat on the bonnet...' 

'Of course, sir,' said the officer. 'And do you mind telling me where you've been?'

'Fishing, of course,' said the angler. 'What does it look

like?'

'Where is your tackle, sir?"

'Smashed to smithereens. A bloody great huppo.. hitto... hittotopamus jumped all over it.'

'Silly me,' said the officer. 'I should have realised. Could you do just one more small thing for me, sir?' 'Shertainly,' said the angler. 'What is it?"

'Just blow into this little bag..."

Anyway to the fishing, with the works Xmas do last night I was slightly hung over I must admit so I didn't fancy a long drive so the Alne it was. I've said before the Alne is often boom or bust but those sessions when the fish are up for feeding it's a lovely little river to catch some fish, especially when out of the blue you can have a surprise or two. So liquidised bread in the feeder and a small thumbnail piece of bread flake on the hook.  

It was eerily quiet with no wind whatsoever and considering I was partying in to the early hours of the morning the situation I was in couldn't have been more different. 

Anyway to cut a long story short it wasn't a particularly productive session and the majority of the swims I fished didn't even produce any bites. I caught 2 chub with the best shown above and I also managed to lose one that tried to get under my feet and got caught up in some thick grass, where sadly the small hook pulled.

The water was a light olive colour which I was surprised it because the Alne is rarely this shade of green. It was clearing too with at least a foot of visibility so unsurprisingly the chub were in the deeper swims.  All in all a nice head clearing session and the solitude this little river can bring, is most welcoming I must admit. 

Transient Towpath Trudging - Pt.119 (Canal Zander)

A busy week this week 😠, I was in MIRA twice to sort out a squeak and rattle issue on one the prototypes being used for a management ride and drive event(s) and I've seemingly been here there and everywhere with family stuff too, fishing just ain't going to happen. On a positive note however I'd been out in the Polestar 5 on the track on all manner of road surfaces and the 'containment fix' seemed to do the job which got those finger pointers off our backs. 

Pheeewww and then a chance conversation around the coffee machine with good friends Cathy and Beth at work, they asked me if I wanted to join them on a lecture, so straight after work we are all off to 'The science of Magic Mushrooms' with Dr David Luke in Oxford. 🍄

All very interesting too and if you have been a reader of my blog over the years you will know my 'interest' in psychedelics but Dr David Luke is on another level. A associate professor of psychology at the University of Greenwich, London, UK, where he has been teaching an undergraduate course on the Psychology of Exceptional Human Experience since 2009. 

His research focuses on transpersonal experiences, anomalous phenomena and altered states of consciousness, especially via psychedelics, having published more than 100 academic papers in this area, including thirteen books, including Otherworlds: Psychedelics and Exceptional Human Experience. 

I'm certainly not academic in any way ☺ but such an engaging presentation and obviously a huge passion of his and plenty of humour during the talk, I'm glad they asked me to tag along. 

Now he has given over 500 invited public lectures and conference presentations, won teaching, research and writing awards, organised numerous festivals, conferences, seminars, retreats, expeditions and pilgrimages, and has studied techniques of consciousness alteration from South America to India, from the perspective of scientists, shamans and shaivites.

 

Some of his research and others show that psychedelics such as LSD and psilocybin can certainly can help with those with chronic depression and anxiety amongst others. 

Where often a single treatment of synthetic psilocybin, the mind-altering ingredient in magic mushrooms, improved mood in people with treatment-resistant depression within three weeks.

Not only that but one of the lasting changes of post treatment was to seek more of the outdoors because of its well-being improvements that us as anglers know all about. We don't know how lucky we are really with our pastime, but it's no secret I suppose, it never has been. There is a reason why we brave the elements isn't there, the pursuit of the angle is mind altering in a good way. 

Now the topic on LSD and brain activity was particularly interesting especially when its low toxicity means that there is no one better to get involved in the testing than Dr David himself. Designing parts for cars or psychedelic research, hmmmm shame my IQ isn't up there with the Doctor, maybe I'd be up for some work experience on a weekend, free of change of course. 

The beginnings of Storm Darragh had already brought some heavy rain and windy conditions and the wind and rain were going to amplify as the weekend went by. The local rivers were unfishable yet again so for this session I thought about trying for some canal Zander before having to batten down the hatches. 

So a roving session this to try and find those Zander which can be tricky as they tend to go in to a slumber when the temperature drop. You need to drop the bait on a Zanders head basically so leapfrogging sections of cover if often the best way to try and find them.

To cut a long story short nothing was doing whatsoever. I covered lots of different areas too that usually throw up a Zander but they were not interested whatsoever. No fish topping and the canal was much clearer than it usually is and that could be why the only splashes I saw were kingfishers on the hunt.

It's usually a nice brown colour which suits the Zander but it was an olive green with a foot of visibility. Oh well, plenty of steps covered and some much needed fresh air which was nice.  

Barbara the Barbel Update - Pt6

Sadly remaining as elusive as ever !! Conditions were perfect too 😬. So little action I’d forgotten to blog about it till now !! 3 swims fished as well, not even a chub pull 🤔

Warwickshire Stour - Redfins and Representationalisms

With the Avon still banging through I fancied a small river fix to hopefully catch a decent roach that the Leam holds or a few chub would do to be honest. The Stour had been over its banks recently like the other local river however I really was surprised of the colour of it when I got bankside for this short morning session.

It was that lovely green colour that the Stour is renowned for so the roach might not be up for a feed but the chub certainly would be.

I've found the bigger roach seem to only show when the river is strong tea coloured and also when the river is carrying lots of water like it was today. Still plenty of swims to go at to try and winkle out a fish or two.

The first swim I fished I caught 3 chub on the last trip so I had high hopes for a bite which came around 5 minutes of the thumbnail piece of bread being out. A rattly bite rather than a chub pull round and sure enough the culprit was a roach I thought it could be.

A minter too but I've caught them to well over 3 times the size of this previously but who doesn't like to catch roach like this ? I thought I was on for a few more bites but sadly no more bites in that swim so I went on the rove.

I'm an inpatient angler and certainly small rivers like this you need to try and find the fish rather than them try and find you.

As I made my way down the stretch the signs of the recent high water was all there to see. In the 3rd field the whole electric fence had been wiped out giving the farmer I right old headache I'd imagine because it was in the hundreds of yards rather than a small section of it.

Anyway the banker swim didn't produce apart from the odd tippy tappy bites which presumably were small fish nibbling at the bread. I swapped to worm from time to time throughout the session but not one bite, bread seemed to get the most interest.

Anyway the morning was ticking by fast and I was wondering where the chub were. I need not worry though because the swim I caught my biggest river roach from produced a tell-tale chub bite, and I struck in to a solid lump.

A dirty fighter too and at one point I thought I was going to lose it as is was trying to get right under my feet. A stroke of luck I managed to get it in to the landing net at full reach because it's quite an elevated swim this.

Only a 2lber but a welcome sight because if I'm honest it wasn't fishing well at all. A small dace got in on the act in the next swim but that was that. Three fish and that was it, and that was after a few hours and probably 6 or 7 swims.

Some of the swims were just not fishable because the river was still banging through and boiling so I was limited to the ones that were. So not that productive but I wasn't complaining, a nice bit of winter sun and roving this cracking little river.