The Tiny River Alne - Solitude and Solemnsides

The angler was fishing a lake deep in the heart of a safari park when a hippo emerged from the water, smashed his rods and trampled all over his gear.

The angler left his tackle and staggered back to his car, to find a troop of monkeys pulling off his windscreen wipers. 

He chased them away, got in the car, and had just moved off when a kangaroo leapt out of the undergrowth and crashed into the aerial, bending it very badly. 

By this time he was in a foul temper, so when elephant crossed the track in front of him, he screeched up to it, slammed on his brakes and hooted loudly. The elephant looked around calmly, kicked in the rear wing, then sat on the bonnet and caved it in.

The angler roared off to the park warden's hut and hammered on the door.

'Look at the mess your animals have made of my car!' he yelled when the warden answered the door. 'I demand compensation!'

'Oh, my dear sir,' said the warden. 'Do come in. How can I apologise? Here, drink this scotch for your nerves.' Down went the scotch in one and the warden poured out another tumblerful.

The angler was calming down by now, and he and the warden had quite a long chat about the hazards of the park. Every five minutes the warden filled up the tumbler, and before long the whole bottle of whisky had disappeared.

The angler was halfway home, his car weaving all over the road, when he was pulled up by a police patrol car. 'Been in the wars by the looks of things, sir,' said the officer. 'Like to tell me how it happened?'

"Yish,' said the angler. 'Windscreen wipers... bunch of monkeys pinched 'em. Aerial... flaming kangaroo bent it. Damn great elephrump kicked the side in then sat on the bonnet...' 

'Of course, sir,' said the officer. 'And do you mind telling me where you've been?'

'Fishing, of course,' said the angler. 'What does it look

like?'

'Where is your tackle, sir?"

'Smashed to smithereens. A bloody great huppo.. hitto... hittotopamus jumped all over it.'

'Silly me,' said the officer. 'I should have realised. Could you do just one more small thing for me, sir?' 'Shertainly,' said the angler. 'What is it?"

'Just blow into this little bag..."

Anyway to the fishing, with the works Xmas do last night I was slightly hung over I must admit so I didn't fancy a long drive so the Alne it was. I've said before the Alne is often boom or bust but those sessions when the fish are up for feeding it's a lovely little river to catch some fish, especially when out of the blue you can have a surprise or two. So liquidised bread in the feeder and a small thumbnail piece of bread flake on the hook.  

It was eerily quiet with no wind whatsoever and considering I was partying in to the early hours of the morning the situation I was in couldn't have been more different. 

Anyway to cut a long story short it wasn't a particularly productive session and the majority of the swims I fished didn't even produce any bites. I caught 2 chub with the best shown above and I also managed to lose one that tried to get under my feet and got caught up in some thick grass, where sadly the small hook pulled.

The water was a light olive colour which I was surprised it because the Alne is rarely this shade of green. It was clearing too with at least a foot of visibility so unsurprisingly the chub were in the deeper swims.  All in all a nice head clearing session and the solitude this little river can bring, is most welcoming I must admit.