Transient Towpath Trudging - Pt.95 (Canal Zander)

I've been looking through the Guinness Book of Records to see I whether I'm in it yet. (The Writing Rubbish for 14 Years and Getting Away With It Record.) Not a mention. Obviously a typographical error or a total lack of taste and no susceptibility to bribery on the part of the editors.

They've got some funny records in that book. Piano smashing, standing on one leg, being buried alive, walking backwards, walking on hands, welly throwing and long-distance spitting.

But it has its omissions, apart from the lack of reference to one of Britain's most talented, distinguished and handsome anglers. The angling section is a bit sparse. Just a straight catalogue of largest and smallest fish caught, record weight lists, casting records and that's yer lot. Nothing to laff at at all.

I am now about to rectify this. There's more to fishing than catching fish, as we failures say, and some of the most interesting records come from the spin-off activities of angling.

Here you are, then, Guinness. They're all yours. No fee. Just send me a season ticket for the brewery.

The Falling in the Water Record. Held by Fred Pighead, of Eccles, who fell into the water 67 times in two hours while attempting to fish from the end of a jetty on a Bridgewater Canal coaling basin. The jetty had been shortened by six feet a couple of days before, but Fred - who had been fishing from it for 30 years - refused to believe it.

The Sitting There Without Catching Anything Record. Twenty -nine years and three months, every weekend and most evenings, by Jim Stupid of Warrington, fishing the sulphuric acid outfall of a local chemical factory. Jim also holds the record for losing most hooks - 2,400,543 - and the most nylon traces - 16 miles, 650 yards and 9 inches of them - because they tended to dissolve as soon as they hit the surface. Jim's bid for the 30-year record was foiled by an attack of double pneumonia after a heavy rainstorm, but as a consolation he was awarded The Daftest Man in the Cemetery Record.

The Number of Polygamous Marriages Record. Held by Gary Glutton of Ardwick, with 10 wives, one in each water authority of England and Wales. 'Helps with my match fishing', says Gary. 'I don't have to worry about making my own sandwiches up. I only hope they don't find out about the Scottish Lot.'

The Most Number of Zander Caught On The Midlands Canals....

....No idea that one to be honest but I must me heading to a >1000 I'd imagine (might be more, might be less), maybe I should look back on my blog for a look. Then again that would take and Aggggeeeeeee that would. It's a good time to be catching Zander on the canals as the moment because they haven't spawned yet from what I can see. So I was back for some more in the area that I caught those two 6lbers last time that Buffalo Si put me on to.

Could it be any worse than waking up as William Wragg, the MP for Hazel Grove in Manchester, who  admitted giving other MPs' phone numbers over WhatsApp, to someone he met on a dating app that had 'photos' that Wragg had sent to an imposter. Well yeah you could be a Zander waking up after being caught my the angling tag team Si and Mick, their lives will never be the same again, with their sanctuary exposed. 

They have always been there to be honest and despite the efforts of the anode wavers of the CRT's well paid and do what you want jobbers, they are still hanging around in these turbid waters. 

Oddly I'd never caught anything big from the stretch hence why it had fallen off my radar, but it just goes to show doesn't it. One year is never the same than the next. Then again 24 is often never the same on the canal these days, it can be that moody. 

And to be honest I was correct with that assumption....

You see some of the smallest Zander caught of late and no big ones to be found whatsoever. I can only assume those fish have upsticks and gone somewhere else for now. Still quite a few steps covered and at least I was getting bites. 

All very confusing but then, there was confusion in the air for this session 😆🐄🐄🐄🐄...

...there is so much water to go at on the canals and fish that don't hang around for long, those 6 lbers I caught and the other fish in the pack could be a mile away by now.